Weird Dream

I had this dream the other night that I was racing in a cyclocross race. So far, so good. We were notified at the beginning of the race that, instead of barriers to jump, we'd have to give five confirmed breaths and compressions on a Resusci Anne doll.

Those unfamiliar with the Resusci Anne doll may better recognize it if we acknowledge it as the doll used in CPR training.

Pucker up.

So... I was actually pretty stoked at this turn of events as, throughout my youth, I had taken both basic and advanced CPR training and felt I had a particular advantage. I also realized, however, that it would be a gross and grimy experience for anyone after the first racer and that Anne's lips would be the equivalent of a petri dish experiment.

Fortunately, the race organizers had considered this as well and had an answer. The commisaire began to hand out wedges of red onion. However, in the magic world of dreams, these were rutabagas. Fair enough. In dreams, we tend to just 'go with it' anyway. Fine.

So, we're told that they rutabagas will act as natural sanitizers and that we just need to be sure to wipe the Anne's lips before we begin the CPR effort. I wasn't too sure about this and decided I was just going to go like hell to get the hole shot and get to the Anne first.

These are not onion slices. They are rutebaga slices. 

I don't know how the race went, but I remembered us all holding our rutabaga wedges as we got ready to start.

Then I awoke.