2011 Autodrop Invitational, Part IV: Cobble Gobble!

The roughest part of the ride behind us, we were chugging our way up the road in Old Salem, when we realized that there were few cobble roads, but an abundance of cobbled driveways! Not sure the rules on this, we began taking photos as we went along.

As we crested the hill and were near Home Moravian Church, we could see the all-lady team, Miss Guided, at Winkler Bakery! Time to catch up and get some sugar cake (for bonus points!). We said our hellos and they told us the sugar cake was good. we went in, got our photo with the nice folks there and were back out -- only to see those Miss Guided ladies getting some cobble photos. I decided to ask if they knew the rules on cobble drives versus roads. They said they'd started taking pics of any cobbles they saw, but failed to do so when they were at Bethabara. At that moment, in my head, I could feel another brain cell burst...

Yum! Sugar cake!

I thought, "Oh no! They went to Bethabara?! If they did that and the CLM is against us, we're doomed! The podium is melting away faster than that remnant of sugar cake in my mouth! I whispered my concern to Joooonyuh, who proved the sage when he said, "Keep calm, Kuhnull. No need to worry just yet."

Quieted, we stopped at the same cobble section the Miss Guided Ladies were leaving when disaster struck! The camera had run out of juice! Aaaaarrrrggghh!

The Ladies loved this and called out, "Guess that's the end of your race!" as they started to ride away. Fortunately, I had the cell phone and was able to get the cobble shot and the team was remounting and in pursuit in a flash.

Now, let's talk about this team of Ladies for a second. No, really. take a look at the photo below. Don't they look lovely? All smiles. Heck, one of these women had a baby last month! I mean, this is the very picture of ladyhood. And if there's anything that Tha Kuhnull & Joooonyuh can appreciate, it is the respect and courtesy due to the Southern belle. Truly, it is so.

But I encourage you to look a little closer and let's discuss what you don't see. Two of these fine ladies are deeply involved with the PRO cyclocross team Smartstop/MOB. They know the in's and out's at the most intimate level. Secondly, these ladies are cyclists. They are not to be reckoned with lightly. Finally, I feel sure that the new mother of the group may have been in 'Mother Bear' mode on this ride. There is, I tell you, plenty to fear from this quartet. No damsels, these.

So, I felt some tremors as I realized we were headed in the same direction, making the same stops and actually having time to converse. Now, Tha Kuhnull is a gentleman, it is true. But I realized the nature of these Cycling Vixens and my own promise to Joooonyuh of 'No Quarter,' so, while I was kind, I played my cards tightly. I say, tightly to my chest.

When at a stoplight, the Momma Bear asked how many cobbles had we captured, I had to settle for distraction and, it should be told, offered a tall tale. I know, that's no gentlemanly act. But, I tell you, this is battle and drastic measures were called for. As such, I told the ladies that I had made previous stops and photoshopped the passport into 35 different pictures of cobbles, attaining over 3000 points! Yes, perhaps upon reflection, it was not my proudest moment. The ladies laughed at my diversion and said they could've used my skills in preparation the night before. It is obvious, even to the bystander, it seems, that Tha Kuhnull is a master strategist. I am not ashamed to admit that Tha Kuhnull blushed in acknowledgement.

Then the most peculiar thing happened. The Miss Guided ladies turned onto the sidewalk of 4th Street to hit the next stop. Joooonyuh, under their spell, started to follow when I called him back. We waited the light and turned down the street only to see the ladies held up at a crosswalk and us with a series of green lights. Favor had, it appeared, smiled upon us as we pulled into Camino Bakery first.

Interestingly enough, someone I knew from my Dell days called at me from across the street! I waved and shouted, "No time to talk! Racing!" and rushed into the bakery to find Mr. & Mrs. Brad Messenger, decked in cycling gear, getting refreshment. I figured they were riding in the race as well, but this was not the case. They were joy riding and wished me well and waved outside to Joooonyuh. I wasted no time getting my bonus cup of espresso. So little time was wasted that I drunk it with no sugar or cream. Tha Kuhnull left with a bad taste in his mouth from that encounter, let me tell you!

Smiling BEFORE drinking the espresso...

Done with our Eastern excursion, it was time to head back to Bob's, drop off the remaining sugar cake to those fine race officials and grab some vests from our SAG wagon. Now the cake was no bribe, I tell you. Tha Kuhnull doesn't work that way when folks are lookin'. No, sir!

Bonus! Stopping to see Jay at Mock Orange Bikes!

On the way in, we decided it would be neighborly to visit our friend Jay at Mock Orange Bikes. MOB was NOT a stop on the Local route (and, organizers, I have to ask, "Why not?"), but they are a sponsor and Jay was stuck working, instead of riding. So, we came in loud and thunderous, the customers at the counter were laughing and moved out of the way so that we could get our friend in a bonus picture to shame the organizers into re-consideration of their stops.
It was, with all these tasks behind us, that we pulled into Bob's. Folks cheered, but we said we weren't done yet. The hardest part behind us, there was just one more bit of pain before it all unfolded beautifully.

Next: The Final Stretch!